Tim Tells of His Death and Things He Has Learnt

Spirit: Hello. Well, can I tell you about me?

Sitter: Oh, yes please. Good evening.

Spirit: When I was killed, I think I was about eight. A boy.

I’ve no idea how long ago it was, but if I tell you about my clothes you might be able to guess. I wore short trousers, bare feet most of the time, shirt, which my Ma was always telling me to tuck in, and I had braces to hold my trousers up and a hat. I didn’t need much else ‘cause I’m talking of Australia. I was pretty far north and I was playing on a railway line… now that’s stupid to begin with, and this is stupid too, I was building a castle.

Now I had no brothers or sisters, and I’d seen a castle in a book. Where we lived it was like sand, but the castle in the book was made of rock and the only stones I knew of, were on the railway line (which I was forbidden to go near, and most times I didn’t), but I’d been two or three times and come away with my pockets full. I’d put some in my shirt and I was gradually building up my castle. It was big.

But on this day I don’t know quite what happened. Long distances, no curves, hills, or anything like that. I knew the train was coming because there was, well you didn’t have a clock or anything like that, but you knew that sometime after lunch the train came through.
Well I’d got most of my stones… I couldn’t hear the train but I could feel it, you just put your hand on the line and you knew that it was near. But there was one stone I wanted, I could see it just a little bit further up the track, so I ran to get it. I reached it, I put it in my shirt and I had to run back the same way to be able to get over the fence, and I tripped I think because what happened was, that next thing I was standing on the side of the track, the train had gone and I’d lost my stones – I didn’t have any!

And there was something on the track! It made me frightened because it was a bloody mess, and I wanted to get away because the train was pulling up well down the line, and I knew I’d get a tanning, if not from the engine driver, from my dad when I got home. So I took off, and I watched, and then my Granddad came. Now that was daft.

My Granddad came and he told me that I’d done a very stupid thing and he hoped that I’d learned from it, and then some other people came and they put me in a nice place, and gave me a drink and I went to sleep, or at least I think it was a drink.

When I woke up they took me to my home but I couldn’t speak to my Mum and Dad, I could just see them sitting at the table. Real miserable they was, because I’d been so bloody stupid… I shouldn’t have said that, my Ma wouldn’t have liked it.

But you know, it was a stupid thing to do but I learnt. People pointed out to me what I must learn from that, that one must learn obedience. If it goes against your thinking, think it through carefully first, because in time you will learn that in your world, to be obedient is not always what is best for you or others, but ‘self-discipline’ is. “Discipline with common sense”, they said and I had no sense because I went for that stone, so I’d done two things wrong there.

And I see other kids doing things wrong all the time. Whether you are big and grown up or just a little kid, you’ve got to learn ‘discipline’ and ‘sense’. When you understand this where I am, they give you little jobs to do and you can enjoy yourself, and you learn that discipline is a very good thing, but not necessarily discipline that others give you, but what you do in yourself. And don’t always do things that you want to do – it may not be sensible. In fact I’ve realised that it can hurt other people very much, like my Mum and Dad.
Years have gone past. I’d have been a grown man now, in fact I’d have been an old one, but I missed out on all that, because I was stupid, so I’ve had to learn things here.

So pass on to other kids, that all this doing what you like when you like, is not always a good thing… you might get killed, you might die. Well from my point of view now, there’s nothing wrong with that, but there is the remorse of having hurt other people and even yourself, because you can hurt yourself, by being stupid.

I think I’d better go, I’m wandering on.

Sitter: Before you go friend, could we have your name please?

Spirit: Ted.

Sitter: Oh thank you, Ted, and could you tell us just a wee bit about you life right now?

Spirit: Well my life right now is learning. I live in a place, it’s very much like I had on earth, it’s familiar. It’s always like sunny, and when you’re tired it doesn’t get dark, you just find somewhere comfy, and you relax for a while and you think good things, and after a while you feel rested again.

And there’s other kids of my age, the age I was when I came here that is, because I guess that’s the age I want to be. It seems as though that is a choice that you have. Well you haven’t got a physical body but it’s what you think you are. You can stay at that or go back if you want to.

But they were good years being a kid and every now and again some wise person, (could be a lady, could be a man, could be a black man, could be any colour, ‘cause we’re all equal), will come and talk to me, and tell me about all sorts of things about life.

I’ve learnt that you can’t die, now I don’t understand it yet but they tell me if I think on this, I’ll learn, I’ll accept it, and understand.
My thinking grows up, but I don’t – (well that’s sounding swelled headed), my thinking is starting to grow up. I think older, and then I think of my physical body, which I haven’t got! (Mirth).

Well I’ve never done this before and I realise I’m a bit muddled…

Sitter: You’ve come through very well, very loud and clear and most interesting and thank you for coming.

Spirit: That’s nice. Thank you, you’re a gentleman.

Sitter: Perhaps sometime you’ll be able to come back, and tell us more. We’d like that.

Spirit: Well lots of people want a turn, but I’ll ask. That would be fun and maybe I’d be allowed to do that. That would be using common sense coming back I think, not being stupid! That still worries me a bit.

Thank you friend.

Goodnight.

Sitter: Thanks again for coming.

Goodnight.